Last night, hubby and I talked about dreams: dreams growing inside my heart, threatening to explode, dreams Dan has given up to make our family and marriage a reality, selfishness inside me, willingness of sacrifice, tears, hugs, communication, and amazing connection and oneness. I truly married the best man for me and there is not a shadow of a doubt that I married the wrong person; in fact, I’ve always believed in soul mates and I’m confident I found and married mine, despite over 2,500 miles and state lines keeping us apart for the first 20 years of my life.
I have a dream of becoming a kindergarten teacher. Dan has a dream of making it big in the surf industry, because he is hands down blessed with some of the most amazing revolutionary surf skills which include being out on the water, and shaping the boards people surf on. He’s an inspiration and blows me away with his talent and gifts, and he has given those up (for now) to make our family a reality. His dream of a strong marriage and financial stability outweighs his own personal dream to live in the surf industry.
I knew Dan made sacrifices for us, for what we have and hope to have in the future, but I never felt what he felt until recently, about how sacrifices must be made. Marriage was the biggest dream of my heart until I met Dan, and he has made that dream a reality for me. Our marriage is my number one priority (after my relationship with the Lord) and my number one dream, and I must remember that when I fight to make my own personal dream a reality. Yes, my husband must be supportive of me and I must be supportive of him: we are a team now, but sometimes the dream of a family, financial stability, and good health outweigh the desire to do something on my own (with him by my side). We are going to both be praying about my desire to teach for the next month or so, but I feel like after last night’s talk, I am content to push on through this journey to the point where my health is at least under control so the next step – babies – can be achieved. That is our dream and that’s what matters most.